I Wish I Was Making This Up

Two days ago, my husband - varsity softball coach at a local high school - got kicked out of the game. This was the first time in nineteen years as a head coach that he was removed by an official. The husband has a temper, I won't pretend like he's mr even-keel or anything like that, but he keeps it under check.

I guess he got angry enough to raise his voice at the official in question and got the boot. He was pretty irritated, but was starting to deal with it.

Until he got the "official letter" the umpire submitted to the state today. Here it is, faithful readers, in all it's illiterate glory:

This game went 11 innings and we were before extra innings when this happened. Hamilton at bat with runner on second base. I'm behind shortstop in my possition. Ground ball where play is at first base. Ball beats runner to first base. I call runner out. Nothing said runner advances to third base. With two outs ground ball, close play at first base, again ball beats runner andI call batter-runner. Out, third out of the inning. On my way back to my first base possition I stop at second base to clean it off. Coach * is yellowing at me that I blowed two calls at first base and cost his team a run in that inning. I brought it to his attention that when the ball beats the runner to first base that is an out so I never blowed any calls at first base. He kept yellowing at me and I told him he needed to move on. He got in the dugout and started yellowing at me again. I told him he needed to leave. He yelled some more. I again told him to leave. He went behind the dugout. When we got ready to start the inning I noticed him observing the game. I told him he had to leave sight and sound. He dissapearer. The first base coach never questioned either call that I made at first base.
Later on during the game Coach ** is watching the game from beyond the fence in left field where the outfield fence and the sideline fence meet. I don't think this is allowed but I wasn't going to stop play to make him leave. He wasn't bothering anything but wasn't suposed to be there according to ejection protocol number 7 on back of this report form.

Like I said, the first base coach never reacted to either call that I made at first base during this inning.

* - our last name was used here.
** - our last name was used again, but spelled incorrectly.

He also used an incredibly ridiculous looking font. Yes, Chemguy, even worse than Comic Sans.

So there you go boys and girls. If you flunk out of English class you can always go into officiating softball for a living.