When I started to put this blog together it was a total act of narcississm on my part. I have no message, I have no agenda to share...I just have thoughts that roll around in my head. Some are entertaining - at least to me - and others are just things I want to put out there so I have a place to see them again later on. And, if anyone else was interested, they'd find me b/c I comment on nearly every blog I read and this blog is listed in my profile. If they liked what I said and wanted to say something too, awesome - bring it on. By the way, thanks: Chemguy, Craig, Grace and Joey...nice to have you around. If they found what I had to say boring, fine, thanks for lurking...no porn here.
But I kind of had this goal when I started not to make this blog a pulpit of advice for people - ever. So, don't take what I'm about to say as gospel or even think for a moment that I actually know what I'm talking about, but...holy crap, sometimes you need to step away from yourself to realize that you're not all that freaking important in the world and your problems don't mean a damn thing.
I had a really bad day yesterday. I allowed myself to become consumed by one problem emailed to me Thursday night, dwelled on it the way I tend to do, reacted to it a bit, stayed way too late after school and discussed methods to deal with the problem with my most important confidant/best friend/sounding board at school. I also allowed any other issue that presented itself to add to the cascade of problems I seemed to be drowning in...took an email comment too personal, took a chiding by a pseudo-administrator too seriously, let the bad day take hold. A while back, I had been given advice from someone that when this stuff happens, you should just roll with the punches and move on. Yesterday I didn't do this and I should have.
Then, I went to my way too huge family Christmas party. Oh, no...we're talking five generations of people here...freaking huge! I got there late b/c I really needed to exercise after the terrible day and Santa was already giving gifts to the kids. My kids got their little gift, I relaxed and then started to listen to everyone else's problems. Now, I don't want you to think my family is falling apart...but wow...my day wasn't that bad.
There's my dad...three years from retirement who lost an election in November that would have allowed him to quit his job that he hates. He's also being placed on part-time status with that job he hates and is now stuck without benefits.
There's my cousin who is two years younger than me who is dealing with her diagnosis of cervical cancer...
There's my brother who's lost job #2 in the past two years...
There's my sister who's son is in the terrible tantrum phase of his life and WOW is he a screamer.
There's my other sister whose boyfriend has plunged to depths I won't even put into print.
Long story short...I need to deal. And...sorry to all those in my world who had to deal with the funk I was in yesterday...I'll work on this, promise.