What's in a Name?

Thanks to NatalieDee for this little comic...

Friday night was my annual ginormous family Christmas gathering. Things are getting ridiculous. There are too many freaking kids running around that place.

In my mom's generation, there were 5 kids. They all got married, so that brings that number to 10. In my generation, there were 17 grandchildren, and all but one of us is married and all but one of us (the same one, btw...) has reproduced at least once. Let me do a quick count...there are...11...9...7...10...1...38 in my kid's generation...and of those 38 - 4 already have kids of their own. Yeah, we're good Catholics.

But that is not my point...

Here is my point: Naming your child something ridiculous is a form of child abuse. Out of all those people, we've only repeated a couple of names...and the newer names being brought into the fold are ridiculous. And, to top off the insanity, no one feels the need to spell their child's name appropriately either. Here are a few examples - I'll write the names phonetically first so you get an idea of what we're dealing with here: Hailey - spelled Hallie, Kiley - spelled Kylee, Camden - spelled Kamden (this one is a little girl, btw...), Lay-ton - spelled Leighton, Aleah - spelled A'aleayha. Here are a couple of other examples: Marli, Jayden, Jayson, Trevor, Kolton, Arianna and Brady.

I know. It's insane. It's like they're setting their kids up to be singled out the first day of school every year. Each year some dottering old teacher - or dumb young one, will butcher these children's names and cause undue attention to be placed upon them. That's just not fair.

I think at first, a lot of parents look at having a child like having a new possession. Something you get to name and play with...something that is theirs. So they mess around and give the new kid a stupid name - one they won't see on an ornament at Hallmark, one they won't have on a license plate for their bike at the souvenir shop in Myrtle Beach, and the parents don't think about the fact that one day, that baby is going to be an actual person.

A person with thoughts and most importantly, a free will. Someone who will resent what they've been named. Some young female who will be trying to get into med school with a name like Candi or some young man trying to get a job interview, but not getting it because no one at the law firm can agree on how to pronouce the name on the resume.

People need to think before they tag their children with these ridiculous names. Just sayin'


Bdubba said...

Some may think my girlies names are silly but that would mean they truly do not know me (or maybe not like me) as a person.

A friend of mine and I have a bet going as to when the girls figure out the "connection" between their names. She says around 16. I say they are never growing up and therefore will never know. ;P

achilles3 said...

This is a subject I have thought about quite a bit. So here's my two cents:

A. You should try to read the Freakonomics chapter on first names and future life successes. There is almost no correlation. A wonderful study.

B. My parents faced mass crit from both sides of the fam for naming me Achilles. AND still today I get idiots who have this look like "wow your parents must hate you" Needless to say I think I've done pretty well for myself.

If your name is Candi and you're loved and supported no amount of old hag name butchering or play ground teasing is gonna ruin your life. In fact old hags and playground bullies are two things wrong with the ed system anyway. Why should parents even have to think of that crap??? It's a name. Damn the teachers and the bullies for being fools. I'd rather be Achilles than John, Luke or Jacob any day.

When I name my kid WOW! and he/she cures cancer I'll have even more evidence. Besides if I make an accident one day I'm homeschooling anyway;-)

Props to my parents for saying normal names are for plebs;-)

(you got me going again Heck!)

calencoriel said...

Lakes, at least your mom knew how to spell your name and didn't convolute or invent a new way to spell it! : )

cmorin said...

I think I agree with both achilles and calen a bit here. I like the idea of picking unique names that are already names (ex. achilles).

But, I don't like the idea of spelling things all weird either. Or taking names that already exist and making them new by respelling them funky.

But my opinion really doesn't matter at because if I ever have kids, the wife will already have names picked out anyways.

How do you feel about word verifications as names? Huh?

Renema.... it could work

DanEcht said...

I mean, my WV is Rower. A good strong noun...not necessarily a good name. I support Lakes. Rar.

Emily Gallacher said...

Nothing annoys me more than an "Emma-lee" spelling. Ew!

I like the names Naomi and Ethan. However, I just discovered that those are two characters' names on the new Beverly 90210 television show. Wtf? Ickk.

P.S. Can I vote on the next Christmas treat you should make?!